Published on April 28, 2008 By RoyLevosh In Just Hanging Out

 

Take this soul, stranded in some skin and bones. Take this soul, and make it sing…

 

-U2, Yahweh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HE: Ha! So you went skydiving? All I have to say about that is you must not love your life very much.

 

ME: that’s where you’re wrong. I went skydiving because I DO love my life very much.

*********

 

Richard Dawkins once made the obvious statement that we are all going to die. But the thing is, he went on to say, is that’s the good news. To die, he said, means that we beat some mighty incredible odds and got to be here in the first place.

 

I like that.

 

I mean, faith is a wonderful thing but I like the “feel” that that logic has on my mind.

 

“Here in the first place.”

 

Yeah. I am here. Now.

 

And so it brings me to think of an observation made by the late Anthony DeMello: have you ever noticed that the people who are all hot and bothered about the next life are the exact same ones that aren’t living this one?

Heh, I can dig it.

I think that Mr. DeMello was on to something when he went on to say that the Enlightened Person doesn’t give a fig about eternal life –the fact is they just don’t care! Eternal life? It doesn’t matter, he said. The first thing is, you just gotta get down to business and live this one.

*********

 

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round with tombstones in their eyes…

 

Steppenwolf said that in their song The Pusher and every time I hear it, I give pause to think: you know, I’ve seen a lot of people walking around with tombstones in their eyes too. They’re the living dead, you know? The real zombies of the real world. People who spend their whole lives locked in one form of cage or another –be it the cage of addiction or a prison cell or simply the non-acceptance of The Way Things Are.

 

And like Ted Nugent said about the senseless slaughter of the buffalo: It is soooo sad. But the thing is, there is nothing I can do to help them if they don’t want to help themselves.

 

…and it is soooo sad.

*********

 

Off on a tangent: child rearing. Because I think it’s important to bring up so as to not raise someone walking around with tombstones in their eyes and looking forward to the next life while missing out on this one.

 

Now I certainly don’t claim to be a child rearing expert, but I do have some experience. I have two main ideas on the subject:

 

  1. Talk to your kids. Yeah, little kids can be boring as hell sometimes but still! Talk to them. I think it gives them a sense of value and that they matter in the scheme of things. And God knows we all want to matter.
  2. Trust your kid. Heh, I know! That can be a tough one especially with a teenager! But the thing is, if you’ve implemented #1 above then your kid knows what you expect of him. Trust him. Tell him you trust him. And then when the temptation comes he’ll fall back on that trust because he won’t want to let you down. If you give a kid a short, strict curfew then I think the message you’re sending him is: I DON’T TRUST YOU. And if you’re kid’s like me, whenever I’ve gotten that message I try my damndest to prove you RIGHT. Hell’s bells, he’s already convicted anyway so why not? So trust your kid. But only if you’ve laid the ground work with #1.

 

That’s it. Or at least all that I can think of at the moment. Anyway, I believe in those two precepts as they’ve worked for me.

 

So far…


Comments
on Apr 28, 2008

 

on Apr 28, 2008

Great advice about child rearing Roy.

I HATE talking to my 5 year old.  Well, ok, I don't really hate it, but I do hate the frustration that comes along with it.

Here is a typical conversation.

Him:  Mom I had a bad bad dream last night.

ME:  What was it about?

Him:  Daddy had a bomb inside him?

Me:  What?  Did he blow up?

Him:  No, he had four minutes

Me:  And that made you sad?

Him:  Yeah.  I don't want daddy to blow up

Me:  He's not going to blow up baby.  Do you remember how the bomb got into daddy?

Him:  Can I have some chocolate milk?

Me:  Yeah, but we were talking about your dream.

Him:  It's just a dream mom, shesh.  Can I have my milk now?

While that may sound fairly easy, I have these types of conversations with him all day long.  He says something, then when I respond to it, he changes the subject.

My 12 year old is much better at conversation.  You know what's tuff though.  He doesn't cry anymore, not really.  I used to be able to tell he was upset because he'd cry....now he just holds it all in and I can't tell a good day from a bad one until I speak to him....and he's hitting that I WANT TO BE ALONE time in his life.  We give him lots of space usually, but he makes it seem like we're killing him with "family time."

Tombstones in their eyes.....Do you remember strobe lights?  Well I have tombstones in my eyes like a strobe light in slow motion...here one day, gone the next.  You look, think you see it, then poof, gone.

There were times in my life (not so much anymore) when the strobe was stuck and I was a walking talking billboard for killing oneself with too much living...heh.

Great article Roy, as always.

on Apr 28, 2008
You may say you are not an expert in child rearing, but you know more than those who claim to be.
on Apr 28, 2008
Him: It's just a dream mom, shesh. Can I have my milk now?


Geesh mom! Get your priorities straight.

Good one Tova.
on Apr 28, 2008
have you ever noticed that the people who are all hot and bothered about the next life are the exact same ones that aren’t living this one?


Yeah, you got a point there, Roy. Worrying too much about what's coming doesn't allow you to really appreciate what you've already got.

I mean, life is a pretty neat thing...we coulda just ended up in a tissue in our dads' trashcan, y'know?

~Zoo
on Apr 28, 2008

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round with tombstones in their eyes… 

I seen them, too. I almost feel sorry for them. People lose me right away if they're too damn serious.

Another thing I don't understand is how a person can be mad all day. Not mad one hour then a few hours later mad again. I'm talking about being mad every single minute. I tried it before it's too damn hard. It takes alot of energy to do it for a long period.

Now I certainly don’t claim to be a child rearing expert

You sound alot better than most, and I'll be willing to bet your kids consider themselves pretty lucky.

on Apr 28, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDBrdl2sZWs

Sorry Roy don't know how to inbed a video.

on Apr 28, 2008
I HATE talking to my 5 year old. Well, ok, I don't really hate it, but I do hate the frustration that comes along with it.


I hear ya! Or they can repeat the same silly thing UNTIL YOU WANT TO SCREAM! Heh, I remember with my oldest how EVERY SINGLE NIGHT he refused to go to sleep until I read The Gingerbread Man! And I'm talking EVERY night! Eventually I had the story, as he did, memorized. But you know what? I kinda miss the Gingerbread Man now. Puzzling.
on Apr 28, 2008
Geesh mom! Get your priorities straight.


You tell her Doc!    Milk is a necessity ya know!

I mean, life is a pretty neat thing...we coulda just ended up in a tissue in our dads' trashcan, y'know?


   Reminds me of the one about the guy with a looooong memory who could remember going to a picnic with his daddy and coming home with his mama.  

Another thing I don't understand is how a person can be mad all day. Not mad one hour then a few hours later mad again. I'm talking about being mad every single minute. I tried it before it's too damn hard. It takes alot of energy to do it for a long period.


I worked with a lady like that once. Bitter and hateful EVERY LIVING SECOND OF THE DAY. No matter what you did you could not make that bitch happy. Eventually, FINALLY she retired, went home, got sick and died. And to me the tradgedy was her life, not her death.

Sorry Roy don't know how to inbed a video.


Now I'm crazy but not THAT crazy! Yet, anyway...   
on Apr 28, 2008

Good sound wisdom, you crazy skydiving sage.  Yes, I talk *at* my kids more than I should.  And I do trust them - two out of three anyways.  The little one's too young for complete trust.

I trust my kids in inverse proportion to how far I can throw them.  KC (17) and Rae (15) I can't throw very far, therefore I trust them very much.  As for Shorty, I can throw her too far, hence little trust.

 

About the next life - I ain't scared a bit.  When I became a Christian last year so many people were so happy that I was going to Heaven.  I told them that as a former atheist, you couldn't entice me with Heaven or scare me with hell.  It's about being here now.  When Mrs. Moskowitz baptized me I was wearing a homemade shirt that read "CHRISTIAN IS A VERB."  Meaning for me, its all about how I'm living now.  I trust God with my unknowable future.

Still, I'm not sure God thinks skydiving is the right thing for me.

- Mosko (the Half) Witz

on Apr 28, 2008

I think that Mr. DeMello was on to something when he went on to say that the Enlightened Person doesn’t give a fig about eternal life –the fact is they just don’t care! Eternal life? It doesn’t matter, he said. The first thing is, you just gotta get down to business and live this one.

This was beautiful. Another one for the books Roy.

on Apr 28, 2008

have you ever noticed that the people who are all hot and bothered about the next life are the exact same ones that aren’t living this one? Heh, I can dig it.

Far too often, yes.  They're spend so much time looking up they fail to see the birds flying over their heads.  Then they wonder how they got crapped on and try to blame everything except themselves.

the Enlightened Person doesn’t give a fig about eternal life –the fact is they just don’t care! Eternal life? It doesn’t matter, he said. The first thing is, you just gotta get down to business and live this one.

Dammit, I'm writing something at the moment about this very thing but I can't put it any better than you've just put it.  Oh well, I'm particularly pleased we're thinking about similar things, mate, even if we're on opposite sides of the world.  Moments like this give me true hope for the future.