HE: (while sprawled across coach internet surfing with his laptop) Ha! Now get this! It says here that the experts are sayin’ that ‘sex begins at forty!’ They even have an interview with some woman who says when she was in her twenties she would just lie there and mentally go down the isles grocery shopping while her husband humped away, but now in her forties with her second husband she’s all about it. Now ain’t that some shit?
SHE: (curled up under a blanket on love seat reading a magazine) Sex begins at forty? Hmmm…I can see that.
HE: (turns head quickly to look at SHE) huh? You can see what?
SHE: Maybe she’s more relaxed and comfortable with herself now. You know, kids out of the house and money not such a big deal anymore and she’s been around long enough to figure things out about how the world really operates and all. You know, her inhibitions and hang ups are gone.
HE: (mumbles) yeah, her inhibitions and hang ups are gone –that and her first husband.
SHE: (ignoring HE) and maybe she’s figured out who she is, too. I know when I was in my twenties I was living under a lot of misconceptions about…
HE: wait a minute! Now don’t tell me YOU were doing mental grocery shopping back when…
SHE: (starts giggling) relax dumbass! No, I wasn’t buying any groceries! Well, most of the time I wasn’t anyway. Usually back then what I did was math problems.
HE: (abruptly shuts laptop and sits up on couch) MATH PROBLEMS?
SHE: you know…like if the last train leaves the station at noon and you need to catch it and be home by…
HE: (starts smiling) okay, you’re just fuckin’ with me now.
SHE: (starts laughing) yes I am and you can take a chill pill because I was fuckin’ with you then, too. It’s just that, well…I think your experts are probably maybe right. When you get older you learn to accept yourself and relax and let go -mainly because you can now- and just…enjoy the ride, you know? So yeah, I kinda think sex really does begin at forty.
HE: (shakes head and lies back down on couch and resumes his internet surfing) for women maybe. But for men the math is easy -the last train leaves the station at about thirteen and it’s a short, quick trip home.
SHE: (rolls eyes) yeah. And in his forties sometimes it still is.